So I try to follow this blog http://ohsheglows.com/2012/08/01/the-august-challenge/ and this month its Challenge month. SO I thought Hey this is a great time to do this. Its day 7 and I think I have remembered twice! lol
So Today I am going to really put my best foot forward and do this.
I struggle really hard with Anxiety and some depression. Not being on any meds due to my doctor not wanting moms to be on meds, I am a mess. Most days are good, then there are the days that I am just a wreck. " I cant do this" " I will never be ....." most common phrases.
So I am going to not just TRY but DO the challenge.
So today I am starting Day 1!
Today is:
Drum roll please............
Fear- Of not being enough.
I struggle with this a lot. I am always telling Mike sorry for not doing enough. I feel like I should be able to clean the house, organize everything and be at least cute when he gets home. Instead I am usually unless I went somewhere that day, I am in my jammies and the house is picked up but not CLEAN. I feel so lazy. I know it has to do with being 37.5 weeks pregnant but I still wish I could just GO GO GO. So today I will start the focus of being okay with being THIS.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
My Baby Shower
The Girls In my Church Young Womens gave me a baby shower. It went really well.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Life-Random
So today I am sitting here just thinking. I have 7 weeks left and I am starting to make the list of things that needs to be done around the house. Sad thing Is I cant do most of them. So I guess I am making a hunny Do list. Mike has been so great and helping so much. The other night I couldn't reach my feet all the way so he put the lotion on. He is doing so great.
To me its funny when he talks about going to school and work and how he thinks he will still have enough time to take Breanna to the park or pool every night, and beable to spend quality time. In my head I see the real picture and just say "ok dear". Is that bad? I know he has 25-30 HOURS of homework a week and plus work. But he is just trying to be a great dad.
To me its funny when he talks about going to school and work and how he thinks he will still have enough time to take Breanna to the park or pool every night, and beable to spend quality time. In my head I see the real picture and just say "ok dear". Is that bad? I know he has 25-30 HOURS of homework a week and plus work. But he is just trying to be a great dad.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Play room
So after yesterdays awful evening and her getting into so much trouble, we are trying something new. I moved all her toys and books into her room. Even Set up a cool mat on the floor to play with. At first she wasn't sure but then after a few minutes she was getting the point. Every time I left the room she would follow so since we don't have a baby gate to fit the door I am using a chair. Tipped on its side it works, FOR NOW. I am hoping that she will understand more and be able to stay in her room and play.
I do want to take her out side but afternoons are really hot and there isn't a park close enough to walk too. So gratefully Mike switches to mornings next week and he can take her to the park in the afternoon before dinner and see if that helps.
I even set up a Bumbo seat as a Time out chair. We will see how that goes but at least its there and ready.
We need to get cabinet locks for the kitchen still and for a few other places but until we can do that hopefully I have figured out something.
Before:
After:
Yep thats my gate!
I do want to take her out side but afternoons are really hot and there isn't a park close enough to walk too. So gratefully Mike switches to mornings next week and he can take her to the park in the afternoon before dinner and see if that helps.
I even set up a Bumbo seat as a Time out chair. We will see how that goes but at least its there and ready.
We need to get cabinet locks for the kitchen still and for a few other places but until we can do that hopefully I have figured out something.
Before:
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Questions????????
Okay so I have questions and I figure here is a good place to put them out there.
1. Circumcise- I know plenty of people who have done it, but is it harder to keep clean or better for HIM to just leave it and deal with it?
2. How can I prepare a ONE year old to be a sister?
3. What do you do when under garments stop fitting? I only have 8 weeks left.
4. pee blocking tent or just a whip?
Okay I have many more but my brain has frozen up.
Please HELP. To me this is more personl than facebook.
1. Circumcise- I know plenty of people who have done it, but is it harder to keep clean or better for HIM to just leave it and deal with it?
2. How can I prepare a ONE year old to be a sister?
3. What do you do when under garments stop fitting? I only have 8 weeks left.
4. pee blocking tent or just a whip?
Okay I have many more but my brain has frozen up.
Please HELP. To me this is more personl than facebook.
Breanna Bear
How could I not love this face!
She never stop stealing our hearts!
One of the happiest days in our lives! The day we became a family FOREVER!
She started out so small and amazing, most days she still is!
I can't believe she is 1 year old! She is changing and learning so fast. Walking, Talking, laughing and crying. Man it has gone by so fast! I am so excited to watch her grow this next year. So much will still change!
Wow talk about a crazy 8 months
So now that life has changed again and we are expecting our baby girl in August, I have really had to stop trying to plan anything! The only thing I can plan or try to is our cleaning schedule and Breanna's schedule. Between Mike starting school- which I am so happy he is doing and I know it will be worth it; and Breanna turning ONE and starting so many new things and phases, to now a baby. Can i just say I still am in somewhat denial! I often look at my belly and rub my belly to feel its real. I love it when she moves and flops and kicks, It never fails to make me smile. Even when I am in bed trying to sleep.
So now I am going to start blogging for REAL as much as possible. There is so much going on and I am really bad at writing a Journal so here is my thoughts.
Life has been NUTS to say the least! But I have o say first off that I am so grateful that we are all HEALTHY! Since moving to Texas we have had to adjust to a different life style. Less money more bills and Trying to make it to a place we can call home for now.
When we first got here I was very depressed and Homesick for Japan. I loved our life there and our friends, even though most of them had moved. I wanted my life back, my schedule, my energy! I felt so blah for about 2 months and all I wanted to do was SLEEP! So every time Breanna went to bed so did I. I am just grateful she is a good sleeper. Then in about March I met some friends and slowly started socializing and hanging out. can I say that makes a HUGE difference! So now life is good.
Most of you know about Breanna's Head condition, that was scary at first then now just a pain to keep it on her head. She has to go in every 2 weeks to check the fitting of her Cranial helmet and make sure its doing it job. Can I say she HATES it! At first she was a champ then she figured out how to undo the dang thing and now wont leave it alone. I have pictures of it but I cant find my camera cord. I am calling tomorrow to see if they can make the Velcro stronger so that its harder to take off.
She is doing great though. She has taken 3 steps and loves playing and reading books. I often am amazed at how smart she is. Today she said BALL after She picked up her Ball. So now she says
"Mama, dada, Ball, All done, More, HI and NO" By the way No was NO Mama. Isn't that great!
I love her so much and cant imagine life without her.
So now I am going to start blogging for REAL as much as possible. There is so much going on and I am really bad at writing a Journal so here is my thoughts.
Life has been NUTS to say the least! But I have o say first off that I am so grateful that we are all HEALTHY! Since moving to Texas we have had to adjust to a different life style. Less money more bills and Trying to make it to a place we can call home for now.
When we first got here I was very depressed and Homesick for Japan. I loved our life there and our friends, even though most of them had moved. I wanted my life back, my schedule, my energy! I felt so blah for about 2 months and all I wanted to do was SLEEP! So every time Breanna went to bed so did I. I am just grateful she is a good sleeper. Then in about March I met some friends and slowly started socializing and hanging out. can I say that makes a HUGE difference! So now life is good.
Most of you know about Breanna's Head condition, that was scary at first then now just a pain to keep it on her head. She has to go in every 2 weeks to check the fitting of her Cranial helmet and make sure its doing it job. Can I say she HATES it! At first she was a champ then she figured out how to undo the dang thing and now wont leave it alone. I have pictures of it but I cant find my camera cord. I am calling tomorrow to see if they can make the Velcro stronger so that its harder to take off.
She is doing great though. She has taken 3 steps and loves playing and reading books. I often am amazed at how smart she is. Today she said BALL after She picked up her Ball. So now she says
"Mama, dada, Ball, All done, More, HI and NO" By the way No was NO Mama. Isn't that great!
I love her so much and cant imagine life without her.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Found my new Favorite cookies!
Okay so I am the type of person that if I am going to make a life change it has to be worth it. Mike and eat great food and feel good at the end of the day.... Then to add to it I found a great Recipe for " The Ultimate Vegan Oatmeal raisin cookie". Now Mike LOVES oatmeal raisin cookies so I had to get this right! HMMMM I DID! Ohhhhhhh I just want to make these and keep them in the fridge. But I wont!
Mine where Fatter but AMAZING!
Our Favorite Dessert that I dont feel one once guilty for is..........
Banana Blizzards! Can You say OHHHHHHHH FREAKIN YEAH!
We have even just done Banana and cherrys.. again YUMM.
Tomorrow We are eating.........
Chipotle basil corn chowder...... with a yummy salad on the side. Perfect for another rainy day.
Mine where Fatter but AMAZING!
Our Favorite Dessert that I dont feel one once guilty for is..........
Banana Blizzards! Can You say OHHHHHHHH FREAKIN YEAH!
We have even just done Banana and cherrys.. again YUMM.
Tomorrow We are eating.........
Chipotle basil corn chowder...... with a yummy salad on the side. Perfect for another rainy day.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Day 4
Some people think I am crazy for eating like a Vegan. So here is why i am doing it. We have been eating alot better in the past 2 years but I am done being on the fence and just trying to eat healthy. I wan to be healthy inside and out. Healthy to me means- feeling good in my skin, the desire to eat great food and not have to count the calories or feel guilty! A glow that you see in others that you have in yourself. Healthy to me is happiness in a way.
I love eating Banana blizzards and not feeling guilty, and Mexican tortilla Pie and so many other great foods that I feel good after, during and even get excited about cooking it.
So here s what we had for dinner last night......... Mexican tortilla pie!
I cant say enough how amazing it was! Ohhhh How I wish I could upload the pictures but Blogger is being dumb and not uploading them!
Tell me how you are and what you think about the work Healthy?
I love eating Banana blizzards and not feeling guilty, and Mexican tortilla Pie and so many other great foods that I feel good after, during and even get excited about cooking it.
So here s what we had for dinner last night......... Mexican tortilla pie!
I cant say enough how amazing it was! Ohhhh How I wish I could upload the pictures but Blogger is being dumb and not uploading them!
Tell me how you are and what you think about the work Healthy?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Vegan
So over the past 1.5 years we have drastically changed our eating habits. We went from eating MEAT just about everyday and sometimes a few times a day to....... 1 time a week or if I can help it none. Mike is still getting there I am doing better but I have given myself a 30 day Challenge. Complete Vegan 30 days! Today was day one. I have done really well. No dairy, No candy, NO MEAT, No crap!
I love looking at Vegan blogs and just being amazing at how good the food taste! I am excited about having a VEGAN Thanksgiving! HMMMMM cant wait! So today I ate yummy organic Crispy rice cereal with Almond milk, which I prefer rice Milk. Then For lunch.............
I ate it without the chesse!
http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2006/10/sweet-potato-black-bean-enchiladas.html
I ate it without the chesse!
http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2006/10/sweet-potato-black-bean-enchiladas.html
Then I took a nice long sunday nap, and ate a wonderful Japenese Apple for a snack. Now I am going to figure out what to make for the Three of us, Ed Thomas, Mike and I for dinner. But I know that this is what is for dessert!
Apple Strawberry Vegan Breakfast Crisp....... OHHHHHH SO GREAT! We have been eating it for dessert and I think someone just ate it all day. One of the guys.... I am thinking BOTH!
This is dinner easy Spaghetti with kidney beans, crushed tomatoes and sauce! So good!
Apple Strawberry Vegan Breakfast Crisp....... OHHHHHH SO GREAT! We have been eating it for dessert and I think someone just ate it all day. One of the guys.... I am thinking BOTH!
This is dinner easy Spaghetti with kidney beans, crushed tomatoes and sauce! So good!Saturday, August 13, 2011
Learning how to breathe
Lately I have been so much happier and well balanced even on my Period. I feel so much more at peace with things, even though there is still ALOT going on I just feel at ease. I know that heavenly father will take care of things and some how we will understand his will.
Last Wend. we found out that Breanna was denied command sponsership, which simply means she cant stay for more then 90 days and we dont get paided extra for her to be here and we only gets Tricare standard which mean that the insurance doesnt pay 100% of the bill. So we have a few options and in the next 1-2 weeks we should find out what is going to happen. All I know is that it will all work out!
Excepting myself in the mirror has been very difficult since I was 13 and hormones kicked in. I was always the pudgy big boobed teen, and very low self esteem. I even remember thinking about killing myself when I was 14 to just have to stop thinking I was fat and stupid. Luckily I didnt and moved on and somehow made it to 31! How is it that we think that when we are in our teen years that we feel like life will never move on or be any better. Now looking back I wish I would of just held my head up high and said " screw you I am me and thats ok", but hey now I am me and thats great. Today we went to the base beach at the lake and took pictures of Breanna's first time at the beach, in those pictures I dont great but I love the happiness in my eyes and that even though I still have 50+ pounds to go that Breanna has a mommy that loves her. I could look at the pictures like I have done for so long and said " delete them, I am fat no way is she seeing me like this later in life!" I am glad I can just say Ohh well At least I am in the picture and not the one taking the picture. Memories last till they are forgotten and mothers love a lasts forever.
Check http://breannarose.shutterfly.com/pictures/303 to see what I mean.
Last Wend. we found out that Breanna was denied command sponsership, which simply means she cant stay for more then 90 days and we dont get paided extra for her to be here and we only gets Tricare standard which mean that the insurance doesnt pay 100% of the bill. So we have a few options and in the next 1-2 weeks we should find out what is going to happen. All I know is that it will all work out!
Excepting myself in the mirror has been very difficult since I was 13 and hormones kicked in. I was always the pudgy big boobed teen, and very low self esteem. I even remember thinking about killing myself when I was 14 to just have to stop thinking I was fat and stupid. Luckily I didnt and moved on and somehow made it to 31! How is it that we think that when we are in our teen years that we feel like life will never move on or be any better. Now looking back I wish I would of just held my head up high and said " screw you I am me and thats ok", but hey now I am me and thats great. Today we went to the base beach at the lake and took pictures of Breanna's first time at the beach, in those pictures I dont great but I love the happiness in my eyes and that even though I still have 50+ pounds to go that Breanna has a mommy that loves her. I could look at the pictures like I have done for so long and said " delete them, I am fat no way is she seeing me like this later in life!" I am glad I can just say Ohh well At least I am in the picture and not the one taking the picture. Memories last till they are forgotten and mothers love a lasts forever.
Check http://breannarose.shutterfly.com/pictures/303 to see what I mean.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Budget
The word BUDGET sometime can mean "0 you are not managing our money right", I want a budget; "or umm where the hell did all our money go". Well in our case its where the hell did our money go! We haven't bounced or gone negative but man it gets close. So tonight I sat down and did a budget its a least a rough draft. What budget forms do you use? What has worked for you guys? So help me out what do you do?
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wow 19 days later!
Okay it doesn't seem like 19 days later! It feels more like a week! Not kidding a week. Okay so I have made a promise to myself that I need to blog more because I have to be able to write my thoughts somewhere and get input, NOT ON FACEBOOK!
Life as a mom is new and fun but mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually tiring sometimes. We are actually doing way better now that she is older. In the beginning Ugggg so tired but we made it. Now she is 8 weeks and 2 days old and she is sleeping better except every few days she decides to grow so then she is up every 2-3 hours at night instead of every 5-6 like normal. I have finally started to get deep enough in sleep to start dreaming again, that was glorious the first morning ! I dont know why but after 8 weeks and no dreams the first dream is great even thought it sucked because of the dream/nightmare, but to dream meant I got good sleep for 3 hours.
Right now I am doing " The Master Cleanse" again, I have done it before and I so needed it again. After 9 weeks of eating CRAP, I needed it. I feel better today then yesterday. I am excited to kick the sugar binge and grabbing candy just because and constantly wanting ice cream. It feels good to know that I will have control over my cravings and that I can say no to the CRAP. My friend Tamara is doing it with me and she is doing great, she has done it to the tee. I, not so much. The first few days before you start you are supposed to have green smoothies for 2 days and then juice (homemade) the day before. She did ,I didnt, so yesterday my blood pressure went down, my blood sugar went down and I was dizzy and weak most the day but today I am doing so much better. I feel good and not Dizzy at all. The only problem of doing this cleanse is the lemons. The Commissary has crappy produce most the time so 8 out of 18 of my lemons where bad the next day. Very frustrating. But I went back today and got more hoping they dont go bad by tomorrow. So frustrating!
I am so grateful I am a mom and lately for scripture time at night Mike and I are looking up Talks from out church website www.lds.org and the last 2 nights we have read about motherhood. I feel good knowing that I am doing a divine thing. That I get to raise Breanna and our future kids in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To teach them how they should live and why. It really helped to feel validated in my feelings as a new mom to see that our church supports and helps us by giving us uplifting talks to feel good and feel like I can do this no matter how tired I am.
Life as a mom is new and fun but mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually tiring sometimes. We are actually doing way better now that she is older. In the beginning Ugggg so tired but we made it. Now she is 8 weeks and 2 days old and she is sleeping better except every few days she decides to grow so then she is up every 2-3 hours at night instead of every 5-6 like normal. I have finally started to get deep enough in sleep to start dreaming again, that was glorious the first morning ! I dont know why but after 8 weeks and no dreams the first dream is great even thought it sucked because of the dream/nightmare, but to dream meant I got good sleep for 3 hours.
Right now I am doing " The Master Cleanse" again, I have done it before and I so needed it again. After 9 weeks of eating CRAP, I needed it. I feel better today then yesterday. I am excited to kick the sugar binge and grabbing candy just because and constantly wanting ice cream. It feels good to know that I will have control over my cravings and that I can say no to the CRAP. My friend Tamara is doing it with me and she is doing great, she has done it to the tee. I, not so much. The first few days before you start you are supposed to have green smoothies for 2 days and then juice (homemade) the day before. She did ,I didnt, so yesterday my blood pressure went down, my blood sugar went down and I was dizzy and weak most the day but today I am doing so much better. I feel good and not Dizzy at all. The only problem of doing this cleanse is the lemons. The Commissary has crappy produce most the time so 8 out of 18 of my lemons where bad the next day. Very frustrating. But I went back today and got more hoping they dont go bad by tomorrow. So frustrating!
I am so grateful I am a mom and lately for scripture time at night Mike and I are looking up Talks from out church website www.lds.org and the last 2 nights we have read about motherhood. I feel good knowing that I am doing a divine thing. That I get to raise Breanna and our future kids in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To teach them how they should live and why. It really helped to feel validated in my feelings as a new mom to see that our church supports and helps us by giving us uplifting talks to feel good and feel like I can do this no matter how tired I am.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Okay not day 2
Wow this weekend has been a busy one. I am in this new clean out everything mood. De-Junking and organizing, the only problem is my house has things everywhere! Tomorrow I am finishing it up and going to be done with it! Breanna has been a champ as always! She is such a good baby, today she was talking to me! It was so sweet! She is so strong she already scoots I think I may have a walker by the time she is 8 months old. She just wants to be on the move even in her sleep. We have to swaddle her just so she stops scooting all over the cradle!
She is doing so well to the adjustment of the cats and weather. She loves laying in front of the fan and loves her swing. Tonight was the first time she noticed things where moving above her head in the swing, she just watched till her eyes couldn't stay open. It was really cute.
We are so blessed!
Ohh part of cleaning out stuff we have 5 black trash bag full of clothes and blankets left from old friends that didnt want them. The blankets anyways! Time for the thrift store except the jeans and T shirts so I can make my first Jean and T shirt quilt.
It feels good to get ready to move, I love moving! No I really do, I love the new places and new house! I cant wait to start redecorating and new place. I LOVE JAPAN! Please dont get me wrong but I am a mover and I have been itching to move for a year! So exciting! Plus the place we are going has a huge lake and COSTCO! Plus Target! Hello no more waiting for things to be shipped and no more small portions of food for so much money! Hello States!
Plus I like Texas, they dont put up with Crap! My kind of place. Ohhh and I can carry a gun and its legal! I am seriously wanting a hand gun when we get to the states, Mike and both want guns so we can go shooting and to have something to protect us. I know I am crazy and guns are dangerous, only people who dont know how to use a gun and those who think they are bad ass's are dangerous! I am pro Gun!
I am so used to living in safe places that I am not taking any chances! Plus we will have a super safe gun safe! Even the paint ball guns will go in the safe just so the kids dont get playing with things they shouldnt. I think I covered all the bases on the gun. But if you have a opinion go ahead tell what you think about owning a gun.
I could honestly see myself living in texas, hmmmmm maybe we should keep that in mind. I guess we will find out soon.
Well I should be off to bed, I have to get up and workout then finish the house and be a good mom all night for feedings, all though she only eats every 5 hours between 9 pm and 9 am! Its so nice ! Night!
She is doing so well to the adjustment of the cats and weather. She loves laying in front of the fan and loves her swing. Tonight was the first time she noticed things where moving above her head in the swing, she just watched till her eyes couldn't stay open. It was really cute.
We are so blessed!
Ohh part of cleaning out stuff we have 5 black trash bag full of clothes and blankets left from old friends that didnt want them. The blankets anyways! Time for the thrift store except the jeans and T shirts so I can make my first Jean and T shirt quilt.
It feels good to get ready to move, I love moving! No I really do, I love the new places and new house! I cant wait to start redecorating and new place. I LOVE JAPAN! Please dont get me wrong but I am a mover and I have been itching to move for a year! So exciting! Plus the place we are going has a huge lake and COSTCO! Plus Target! Hello no more waiting for things to be shipped and no more small portions of food for so much money! Hello States!
Plus I like Texas, they dont put up with Crap! My kind of place. Ohhh and I can carry a gun and its legal! I am seriously wanting a hand gun when we get to the states, Mike and both want guns so we can go shooting and to have something to protect us. I know I am crazy and guns are dangerous, only people who dont know how to use a gun and those who think they are bad ass's are dangerous! I am pro Gun!
I am so used to living in safe places that I am not taking any chances! Plus we will have a super safe gun safe! Even the paint ball guns will go in the safe just so the kids dont get playing with things they shouldnt. I think I covered all the bases on the gun. But if you have a opinion go ahead tell what you think about owning a gun.
I could honestly see myself living in texas, hmmmmm maybe we should keep that in mind. I guess we will find out soon.
Well I should be off to bed, I have to get up and workout then finish the house and be a good mom all night for feedings, all though she only eats every 5 hours between 9 pm and 9 am! Its so nice ! Night!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
New Life
So I have decided that I need to blog so I can let out so many things that I dont want to sit and type on face book. Plus Keep everyone up to date and how we are doing. Life has been crazy, stressful, happy, sad, crazy and peaceful and that was just today!
As time has gone on and Breanna Rose is almost 6 weeks old I am finding out more and more about myself and how far I need to come to be the mom I want to be. I find myself constantly double guessing myself and how much time and holding I should be giving Breanna. I am learning every minute of everyday. So I come to all of you with all my issues and needs and joys.
Tomorrow starts day 2 of blogging our crazy life!
As time has gone on and Breanna Rose is almost 6 weeks old I am finding out more and more about myself and how far I need to come to be the mom I want to be. I find myself constantly double guessing myself and how much time and holding I should be giving Breanna. I am learning every minute of everyday. So I come to all of you with all my issues and needs and joys.
Tomorrow starts day 2 of blogging our crazy life!
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